Last in a series on the best malapropisms of all time -

In case you can't tell by now, I am thoroughly enameled with malapropisms. They're a shortcut to the absurd. Baseball great Yogi Berra gets my vote for all-time champ.

"Ninety percent of the game is half mental."

''It's like deja vu all over again."

''Nobody goes there anymore; it's too crowded.'' (sometimes remembered as, 'It's so popular, nobody comes here anymore.')

"You can observe a lot just by watching."

"A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore."

"It ain't over until it's over."

"If I didn't wake up, I'd still be sleeping."

"Slump? I ain't in no slump. I just ain't hittin."

Referring to a Steve McQueen movie - "He must have made that before he died."

When asked what he would do if he found a million dollars - "I'd find the fellow who lost it and, if he was poor, I'd return it."

"You've got to be very careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there."

"If you can't imitate him, don't copy him."

"You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six."

"It was impossible to get a conversation going; everybody was talking too much."

Referring to the bad sun conditions in left field - "It gets late early out there."

"If you come to a fork in the road, take it."

"Ninety percent of the putts that are short don't go in."

"I always thought that record would stand until it was broken."

"It ain't the heat; it's the humility."

"You should always go to other people's funerals; otherwise, they won't come to yours."

"I didn't really say everything I said."

Malapropism Series -
Part 1 - History, Shakespeare
Part 2 - Politicians
Part 3 - former D.C. Mayor Marion Barry
Part 4 - movie mogul Samuel Goldwyn
Part 5 - Archie Bunker and assorted others
Part 6 - the all-time champ Yogi Berra (above)

Find more humor here.

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