Here are some of the best lines attributed to American comedian Steven Wright (no relation) -

I installed a skylight in my apartment. The people who live above me are furious.

I wrote a few children's books. Not on purpose.

Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect it back.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

All those who believe in psychokinesis, raise my hand.

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked
something.

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is
research.

Find more humor here.

 

Album Description by Amazon.com
1988 album by acclaimed American stand-up comic renowned for deadpan delivery of quirky jokes. Unavailable on CD in the U.S. 14 tracks.
 

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