Here are some of the best lines attributed to Woody Allen -

Eighty percent of success is showing up

I can't listen to that much Wagner. I start getting the urge to conquer Poland.

I'm not afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.

Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on office supplies.

More than any time in history mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness, the other to total extinction. Let us pray that we have the wisdom to choose correctly.

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists?
In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.

Eternity is very long, especially toward the end.

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